Beating the Stress of Saving for Three College Tuitions: Happy Father’s Day!

Dear Dr. Crespin,

I just had a bombshell dropped on me. Today, my wife told me she is pregnant with our third child. It was quite the Father’s Day surprise! I’m thrilled, of course, but also really concerned about how we are ever going to manage day-to-day life, not to mention saving for college.

I’m really feeling kind of overwhelmed by this situation. She is due in February 2008, which means we’ll have a newborn, a two year old girl and a four year old boy. I have a good job, and my wife works part-time, but I’m still afraid we are just not going to make it financially. The thought of that much chaos in the house is also freaking me out in a major way. Any advice you have to help me deal with all this stress would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance,
Seriously Stressed Dad

Dear Seriously Stressed Dad,

First, allow me to congratulate you on your growing family! That is wonderful to hear. Of course, the first reaction to this kind of life altering news can be feelings of not only joy and excitement, but also anxiety and concern. And, that’s OK and totally normal. Having children presents lots of long-term responsibility and the expectations that parents put upon themselves to meet their children’s needs can significantly compound the stress.

My recommendations? Combat worry by taking action. Control what you can and let go of the rest. What does that mean for you specifically? Take advantage of the extra time you have now, before the baby arrives, and research 529 plans. Just taking that first step will help you gain clarity about the process. Consequently, you will feel much more informed, relaxed and in control.

Planning for the future, by implementing a detailed budget, will also reduce your stress levels. You can use a computer program or go low-tech with pen and paper, whichever method you prefer is fine. The point is to keep track of expenses closely so that you feel empowered by your finances rather than panicked. Remember, you control your spending, your spending doesn’t control you.

Finally, let’s address those fatherly fears. You’re right–the confluence of diapers, feedings, toys and tantrums inevitably creates a hectic home life. The solution? Forget perfection and, for that matter, the dirty laundry. Just embrace it and remember that one day your children will leave home to lead their own lives, to go off to college, to see the great big wide world. So, savor those little ones while they still are little. The chaos will be real, but it will also be temporary. And, who knows, you might just come to enjoy it.

Hoping for even more help with stress? Check out my stress quiz, chock full of great tips for managing stress.

Again, best of luck, congratulations, and Happy Father’s Day!

Sincerely,
Dr. Cynthia A. Crespin

Bookmark :