Dear Dr. Crespin,

I just had a bombshell dropped on me. Today, my wife told me she is pregnant with our third child. It was quite the Father’s Day surprise! I’m thrilled, of course, but also really concerned about how we are ever going to manage day-to-day life, not to mention saving for college.

I’m really feeling kind of overwhelmed by this situation. She is due in February 2008, which means we’ll have a newborn, a two year old girl and a four year old boy. I have a good job, and my wife works part-time, but I’m still afraid we are just not going to make it financially. The thought of that much chaos in the house is also freaking me out in a major way. Any advice you have to help me deal with all this stress would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance,
Seriously Stressed Dad

Dear Seriously Stressed Dad,

First, allow me to congratulate you on your growing family! That is wonderful to hear. Of course, the first reaction to this kind of life altering news can be feelings of not only joy and excitement, but also anxiety and concern. And, that’s OK and totally normal. Having children presents lots of long-term responsibility and the expectations that parents put upon themselves to meet their children’s needs can significantly compound the stress.

My recommendations? Combat worry by taking action. Control what you can and let go of the rest. What does that mean for you specifically? Take advantage of the extra time you have now, before the baby arrives, and research 529 plans. Just taking that first step will help you gain clarity about the process. Consequently, you will feel much more informed, relaxed and in control.

Planning for the future, by implementing a detailed budget, will also reduce your stress levels. You can use a computer program or go low-tech with pen and paper, whichever method you prefer is fine. The point is to keep track of expenses closely so that you feel empowered by your finances rather than panicked. Remember, you control your spending, your spending doesn’t control you.

Finally, let’s address those fatherly fears. You’re right–the confluence of diapers, feedings, toys and tantrums inevitably creates a hectic home life. The solution? Forget perfection and, for that matter, the dirty laundry. Just embrace it and remember that one day your children will leave home to lead their own lives, to go off to college, to see the great big wide world. So, savor those little ones while they still are little. The chaos will be real, but it will also be temporary. And, who knows, you might just come to enjoy it.

Hoping for even more help with stress? Check out my stress quiz, chock full of great tips for managing stress.

Again, best of luck, congratulations, and Happy Father’s Day!

Sincerely,
Dr. Cynthia A. Crespin

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Dear Dr. Crespin,
I’d like to enlist your help and advice, whenever you have a second. I’ve been thinking a lot about 529 College Saving Plans, and I know I should do something about this issue, but I just cannot motivate to take the next step. In fact, I’m not even sure what the next step is to be honest. When it comes to finance, I’ll admit I’m kind of clueless, but that’s no excuse.

I keep trying to figure out why I’m stuck on this issue. Usually when I procrastinate about something, it’s because it just doesn’t seem relevant. In this case, though, I know how important it is, but I am still procrastinating. I guess the whole thing is making me feel overwhelmed and nervous.

My daughter is seven and my son is four. Could you help me, please, before it’s too late?
Thanks,
Procrastinating Pop

Dear Procrastinating Pop,
Thanks for your terrific and timely question! As a psychologist with time management expertise, I can tell you that your reaction is totally normal. When faced with the issue of saving for college, plenty of parents procrastinate. You are right to be concerned, though; it’s a real challenge to overcome.

So, what causes procrastination? The triggers vary. To push past procrastination, let’s take a look at the top three reasons people delay instead of dealing directly with important issues like 529 College Saving Plans.

Perfectionism–If I cannot do it perfectly, why even attempt it? Having standards in the stratosphere will discourage you from initiating a task, never mind completing it. So, here’s a gentle reminder for all you self-critics. Perfection is, by definition, unattainable.

Inability to handle the task–What if it’s too hard? No one likes to feel like a bumbling idiot. If you believe that you lack the knowledge (in this case, financial know-how), skill, or resources to do the job, you may perceive the obstacle as insurmountable. The result? You’ll feel overwhelmed, as you noted, and avoid engaging in that particular task.

Fear of the unknown–What’s going to happen? If you’re venturing into a realm for the first time, you may lack a clear idea of what to expect. The uncertainty of that outcome creates fear (that nervousness you mentioned), which will hinder your motivation to move forward.

What’s a procrastinator to do? Let those unrealistic expectations go. Realize you can manage the task. Ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that could happen if I gave this a try? Once you acknowledge that the outcome will probably be OK, you’ll feel confident enough to begin something new, outside your comfort zone. Rely on 401kid.com to learn more about the 529 College Savings Plans. Getting started now, with just this first step, will give you the momentum to complete the task. Go on now””the sooner the better!

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Yesterday, I asked my husband when we were going to start saving for our kids’ college tuition. “Not right now, honey. Later.” We have two toddlers, so you could argue that we have time on our side. I’d like to make the case, to the contrary. Life’s big issues, relegated to the land of later, have a way of sneaking up on us.

Maybe you’ve been meaning to get up to speed on the 529 College Savings Plans, but you simply haven’t found the time to take the next step. I feel your pain. We’re busy with work, family, and of course, that quaint old fixer-upper that charmed us right out of our senses, not to mention our free time when we bought it. Long story short, I have my HVAC guys on speed-dial. Bottom line? There always seems to be some pressing issue that has to be handled–now.

So, what about the things you need to take care of for your future? Often, they just fall off the radar screen. You tell yourself they can wait, right? You’ll get to it later. Wrong. Most tasks that people put off simply never get done, which is a shame. Because once college time rolls around for your son or daughter, paying tuition will have become one of those urgent matters that demand your attention–now.

Planning for the future is preventative maintenance. Procrastination, more than any other factor, is the culprit that leaves many parents holding the bag when it’s time to put children through college. Don’t let it happen to you.

So, what are you waiting for? Get going today! Put saving for college on your to-do list, along with dinner, soccer practice, and feeding the fish. Only today, put it at the top of your agenda. Check out 401kid.com and educate yourself about the 529 College Savings Plans. It will help you prepare for your child’s educational future. Will you feel glad you did? You bet your bottom dollar!

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When my son or daughter graduates, will all the financial sacrifice be worth it? These days, many parents saving for the high cost of college are done wondering; they are flat-out asking what their ROI, or return on investment, will be. For most parents, that means looking for a college that offers more bang for their buck. Finding a school with a good reputation is no longer enough. Parents now want top-notch academic preparation AND unique college options that distinguish that school from the competition.

So, as colleges compete for top students and tuition dollars, having an edge now means offering programming that is as innovative as it is practical. Some colleges meet the need by offering complimentary leadership education classes, as an off-shoot of their student services department. (This department typically manages campus activities and student support services.) Increasingly, leadership education has gained in popularity, and the concept of acquiring leadership skills while still in college is ever more appealing. Why? Because parents, students, and employers all recognize the added-value of leadership knowledge and experience. Talk about a resume builder!

Consequently, the concept of leadership education has experienced unprecedented growth, becoming ever more prominent on campus in recent years. The result? More and more colleges have upped the ante by offering academic Minors in Leadership Studies. A number of forward-thinking universities have joined the party. Colleges that currently offer a Minor in Leadership Studies include: St. Norbert College, Fitchburg State College, North Central College, Wilmington College, Methodist University, Kansas State University, and Northeastern University.

My advice?As you save for college, think about what you’ll be getting for your hard-earned money and be a savvy shopper. Look for the best value in terms of both academic and career preparation. The benefits of leadership courses are clear and the workplace applications appear almost limitless. Graduating with a Minor in Leadership Studies, in addition to an academic major, could be just the ticket to a brighter future. Now that’s college money well-spent!

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Hi Dr. Crespin,

I’m so glad to have the chance to talk with an education expert like you. I know from your bio that you have tons of experience relating to college and career issues, so I wanted to ask you some questions, if that’s OK. Lately my niece, who is majoring in Business, has been talking a lot about doing a Minor in Leadership Studies. Yesterday, she told me she had decided to do it. For me, this seems like a big red flag. Shouldn’t she be focusing on her major?

What is this stuff anyway? We didn’t have it back in my day. Is it really worth her time, not to mention my sister’s (her mom’s) money? I’m just worried that this leadership thing is a big waste of time and that because it’s not standard coursework it could hurt her chances of getting a good job when she graduates.

Please let me know what you think. Your opinion means a lot to me.

Thanks,
Anxious Auntie

Dear Anxious Auntie,

Thanks for all the great questions! It’s great to hear from you and I’m glad to serve as a helpful resource for you. Let’s address those concerns of yours one at a time.

First, pursuing a Minor in Leadership Studies will not detract from her Business coursework, or any other coursework for that matter. On the contrary, it’s a big plus from many angles. A Minor in Leadership Studies is a natural accompaniment to almost any major. It’s like a Coke and fries, it goes great with just about everything! In particular, it’s a great fit with Business because most Minors in Leadership offer relevant classes in Ethics, Public Speaking, and Communication.

Programs that offer a Minor in Leadership Studies do vary, however. For example, Northeastern offers a three-track system. Students can choose to specialize in Public Policy, Women and Leadership, or Military Leadership. It’s easy to learn more about the specifics of your nieces Minor in Leadership Studies curriculum. Just go to the website for her college and use the words “Minor in Leadership Studies” in the search engine. If you prefer a more low-tech approach, go ahead and give the program director a call. After doing your research, you’ll have a clearer picture of exactly what she stands to gain.

Bottom line: Graduating with a Minor in Leadership Studies will only add to, and never detract from, your niece’s career options when she graduates. Employers will view her leadership training very favorably as it will enhance her ability to contribute professionally in the workplace, making her a much more valuable employee. As a result, she will have an edge over many of her classmates by taking this non-traditional route. After learning more about the benefits a Minor in Leadership Studies, I hope you feel more confident about your niece’s decision. She’s lucky to have an auntie like you looking out for her. Encourage her to go for it!

Best Wishes,

Dr. Cynthia A. Crespin

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