Hi Dr. Crespin,
My son just finished his junior year and is a dual major in Psychology and Government at a small liberal arts college out West. He mentioned he’s going to do a Service Learning program when he gets back to campus in the fall. I have some real concerns about his plan, as a parent, that I wanted to discuss with an educational specialist and career coach like you.

His grades have been good (mostly A’s, some B’s) and I want to make sure they stay that way. As you know, college now costs a small fortune; I don’t see any point in him taking on extra responsibilities that give him less time for homework and studying. Wouldn’t that hurt him when he enters the job market?

Also, I am wondering what Service Learning actually means? I’m not sure we had that at my school, but college for me was back in the day! I guess I’m just worried that Service Learning really isn’t worthwhile for my son, given the cost of college tuition these days.

Thanks for your advice.
Sincerely,
Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned Mom,
Thank you for your terrific questions! I’m happy to act as an educational and workplace consultant on your behalf. Now, let’s tackle the concerns you shared. For a detailed explanation of Service Learning, please take a look my other blog on this topic. It will orient you to this exciting, hands-on educational approach. You won’t want to miss it!

Participating in a Service Learning program will detract from neither your son’s coursework, nor any other academic plans. In fact, it’s an especially good match with your son’s dual major in Psychology and Government. Why? Because most Service Learning programs provide not just opportunities to serve the community, but also germane classes in civic engagement, leadership, and social justice.

Service Learning programs also vary somewhat. Northeastern University and Colorado College, for example, both offer exceptional but unique opportunities for students. For a better understanding of your son’s specific program, just go to his college’s website and enter the words “Service Learning” in the search engine. It’s perfectly alright to contact the Service Learning director by phone or email, too. Once you research it a bit, you’ll gain more clarity regarding the many benefits of his Service Learning program.

A final word of reassurance? Your son’s employability will be enhanced when he graduates. Service Learning experience impresses employers; it demonstrates maturity, empathy, teamwork skills, and a commitment to serving those in need. Coursework is also considered important, but as far as businesses are concerned, there’s no substitute for real world experience. After learning more about all the positives inherent in Service Learning, I hope you feel proud of your son’s decision. It’s a great one that will serve him (and the community) well!

Sincerely,
Dr. Cynthia A. Crespin

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The incident that occurred at Virginia Polytechnic is a horrific tragedy. It saddens me, but it also fills me with outrage.

Predictably, there will be the typical American, knee jerk reaction aftermath. There will be a public outcry, demanding universities increase campus security to the extreme of turning them into mini-fortresses, adding to already astronomical tuition costs. More jails and more people with badges and guns; it’s always our first course of action.

Universities have come a long way in improving security measures in the last 25 years. Most campuses provide night escorts for female students, safety rides and safety education. Schools are simply not equipped to handle the kind of occurrence that happened this week nor should they be (unless, of course, they have a satellite campus in Baghdad). VPI and local police did a commendable job given the circumstances. The VPI shootings are an anomaly.

We live in a violent society. College campuses are a microcosm of the larger world. A mirroring takes place between the two. We like to believe our university system is the Emerald City of our best and brightest young minds (actually, there usually is an old white man behind a curtain pulling levers and blowing smoke). One need only log onto My Space and read some of the typical collegiate profiles to be dispelled of this notion. Furthermore, Ted Kaczynski is a Harvard grad; incredibly intelligent, but nutty as they come.

There is at least one Cho Seung-Hui on every campus. They may never act on their rage and homicidal fantasies, but they’re out there. We want to know “Why would he do something like this? What was his motive? Who is to blame?”

I guarantee that within a week, every talk show will have their favorite-mental-health-worker-for-hire on the air, examining Cho’s psychological profile. They will offer such chestnuts as “he was abused, molested, tortured, an object of childhood peer ridicule” and “let this be a cautionary tale.” I can already hear Dr. Phil and his replacement, Dr. Robin, now.

These scenarios may very well be true, but they’re not “the answer.” Many individuals suffer similar experiences and others far worse, yet they don’t grow up to kill 32 people and themselves. Hui was a highly disturbed young man who slipped through the cracks before arriving to that elusive critical moment in which he might have reached out for help.

There is always a “moment.” It’s not a matter of providing support services. Many students don’t seek help unless a third party intervenes in the right way and at the right time. It could be a seemingly insignificant comment or event. The most troubled students all have a similar story. A person (coach, adviser, RA, professor, peer) somehow demonstrates that they care in a way the student can hear and feel and then they seek help. Generally, these are spontaneous, unplanned, random occurrences that cannot be forced or done as part of academic advising protocol.

Who is to blame? The police? The university? Violent video games? WE are to blame and the politicians we elect who legislate the sale of firearms are to blame. Period. Dennis Miller, a comedian I used to like, once said, “Folks, you can’t save everyone. Just pray you’re not living next door to them when they decide to go off.” He’s right.

There will always be dangerous, psychotic people in the world. We can’t control that. However, we can control the ease of access and sale of firearms. Hui was able to walk into a gun shop and, because of his resident visa, wasn’t subject to a waiting period. Native US residents can purchase weapons if they have a valid driver’s license and no criminal record. The “no criminal record” caveat always makes me snort derisively- like a criminal doesn’t know how to purchase a gun without going through the proper channels. Give me a break.

Many will argue it’s our constitutional right to bear arms. Fact: The constitution was drafted at a time when you could be mauled to death by a bear on your way to the outhouse and the general consensus was that bathing regularly could make you sick and eventually die. “The right to bear arms” is no longer a valid or viable argument. Enough already.

I wonder if any of the parents whose children were murdered or whose children witnessed and were traumatized by the murders have NRA bumper stickers on their SUV’s? I wonder how they will be able to continue to defend the sale of guns? I’m certain many of them will.

It is our elected officials responsibility to stand up to their corporate backers and the small, but loud number of constituents who oppose stricter gun laws. A 4-year old child would eat his body weight in sugar if his parents allowed him to do so. The people in charge need to be responsible, even when many citizens demand they act irresponsibly.

We can’t save everyone, but as a society we can call for legislature that makes it more difficult if not impossible to purchase these weapons. If we’re serious about making campuses, not to mention society, safer, this would be a good start.

Written by: Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, Psy.D.

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Most people think of college graduation as a happy and exciting time- and it is. However, it can also be a time of anxiety and oftentimes depression for college grads and a time of frustration and confusion for their parents.

Graduation is both an ending and a beginning. College campuses are little worlds unto themselves. Students have support networks and many safety nets. Graduation means saying goodbye to relationships (or the familiar context of these relationships), classes, the party scene, the little part-time job for pocket money, professors, advisers, housing, health care and one sweet vacation/break calendar.

Grads and parents discover that the 4 to 5 years of expensive tuition that was supposed to prepare little Justin and Amber for the “real world” didn’t quite accomplish that feat. Many universities nowadays coddle and spoon feed their students as high schools have done, rather than address the problems created by high schools, but I digress.

Students discover that the careers they thought they would have after graduation are not quick to materialize and, if they do, don’t pay enough to support themselves and pay off their loans. This may cause many to frantically scurry into graduate programs in the hopes it will increase their viability in the job market after another 2-3 years of study and incurred debt.

In some fields, this is very well true; in others, a graduate degree means one will go from minimum wage to a slightly higher than minimum wage “salary” (Psychology is an excellent example, believe me, I know). Many grads will have to come to terms with the reality of what their college degree translates into in today’s job market. In many majors, a college diploma is nothing more than a glorified high school diploma.

How does one lucratively apply undergraduate degrees in History, World Literature and Communications into well paying jobs or, at the very least, jobs that will pay living expenses and loans? Unless you’re planning on parlaying these degrees into Law School, Engineering and/or an MBA program, save yourself time and money and pursue an Associates degree. I can’t tell you how many people I meet who were History, Sociology and Communications majors who are now apartment rental agents or sell advertising spots in radio. These are perfectly respectable jobs, but you don’t need college degrees to do them.

If you know an impending college grad, brace yourself for the months ahead. It may become bumpy when the reality hits the fan. Meanwhile, enjoy the graduation parties, Senior events, Alumnae wine and cheeses and commencement ceremonies. Hopefully, your grad will make it through and figure out how to make their degree pay. I’ve often thought college career counseling centers should offer a course to Juniors called, You Won’t Be Doing What You Think You’ll Be Doing After College, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

By: Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, Psy.D.

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It is impossible to live a completely stress-free existence. College life has its own unique variety of stressors, which seem to occur at predictable times during the academic calendar year. The following stressors are not the only ones students face throughout the year, but they are common and widespread amongst the student population.

March:

Ӣ Stress and panic begins after mid-term evaluations are received.
Ӣ Drug and alcohol use increases; for some, problems may develop because of this.
Ӣ Depression begins in anticipation of separation from friends and loved ones during the summer or after graduation.
Ӣ Academic pressure increases as Finals week draws near.
Ӣ Pregnancies from Christmas vacation begin to show- dilemma over what to do.
Ӣ Existential crisis for seniors: Is my education worth anything? Must I leave school? Was my major a mistake? Why go on? Where is God? Will I make it?
Ӣ Reality of school responsibilities set in after spring break. Some students now must face the embarrassment and agony of living down flashing the MTV spring break cameras in front of an audience of millions.

April:

Ӣ Stress and disappointment set in after Finals grades are received for Winter quarter.
Ӣ New promises are made to self to do better Spring quarter.
Ӣ Confusion and frustration develop because of decisions necessary for the late registration scramble.
Ӣ Increased stress for students who still have not declared a major.
Ӣ Social pressures- everybody is asking for your participation at trips, parties and banquets.
Ӣ Job and co-op recruitment panic begins.
Ӣ Reality of graduation looms ever larger for seniors.

May:

”¢ Mid-term anxiety begins anew as some students realize they have once again not “stayed on top of things.”
Ӣ Seniors panic about job offers or the lack thereof.
Ӣ Depression begins over leaving friends and facing possible conflicts at home.
”¢ Separation anxiety begins for couples who won’t be spending the summer together and worry about the survival of the relationship.
Ӣ Spring fever begins and some students blow off classes and assignments that they may later regret.
Ӣ Mid-term grades are received and the crunch towards final exams begins.
Ӣ Housing dilemmas arise for following school year.

June:

Ӣ Anxiety develops with the realization that the school year is indeed ending.
Ӣ Seniors face the reality of saying goodbye.
Ӣ Finals pressure and anxiety.
Ӣ Packing up belongings to move into a new residence or return home for the summer.
Ӣ Facing the possibility of living with people one may not know during the next school year.
Ӣ Anxiety over beginning summer co-op or job.
Ӣ Stress over registration for summer classes and not having a summer vacation like friends at other schools.

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, there are academic stressors that transcend time. The above are not a complete list, but give an idea of what your college aged children may be facing this time of year. Just think, it’s only a few weeks until summer vacation. I’ll bet you can hardly wait!

Written by: Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, Psy.D.

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US college students are wonderfully diverse. They come from many different backgrounds, cultures, states, countries, and families. Over the course of your child’s education, they will go through numerous developmental changes and pressures. Seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist does not mean a person is “crazy.” Many students (who are not “crazy”) seek psychotherapy with concerns such as:

- Academic performance
- Test anxiety
- Poor concentration for coursework
- Time-management and/or study skills
- Career counseling
- Interpersonal relationship difficulties (i.e., not getting along with friends or roommates, problems with boyfriend/girlfriend)
- End of relationships (with friend or significant other)
- Low self-esteem, poor body image, self-confidence
- Assertiveness skills
- Unresolved or ongoing family difficulties
- Death of a family member or loved one
– Feeling suicidal/homicidal
- Past sexual or physical abuse
- Current physically abusive relationships
- Drug and/or alcohol abuse
- Eating problems (binge-eating, restricting, purging)
- Rape, acquaintance/date rape and/or sexual assault
- Life-threatening illness
- Feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness
- Depression
- Anxiety, phobias (e.g., fear of flying), panic attacks
- Emotional difficulties that make it difficult to function on a daily basis (e.g., depression/anxiety)
- Behaviors that are harmful to self or others (drinking too much and becoming aggressive)
- Sexual problems (dissatisfaction and/or dysfunction)
- Questioning sexual orientation
- Coming out to friends and family
- Anger management (extreme irritability/hostility/anger disproportionate to the situation)
- Extreme shyness
- Personal growth
- Understanding feelings better
- Pattern of bad relationships
– Intimacy difficulties
- Clinical conditions (i.e., bipolar disorder, ADHD)
- Adjustment difficulties (i.e., living away from home)
- Perfectionism
- Dating concerns
- Impending death of a significant person
- Confusion about beliefs/values
- Making friends
- Religious/spiritual concerns
- Sleeping problems
- Stress management
- Unplanned pregnancy/abortion/adoption
- Unusually stressful events (e.g., roommate/friend attempts or successfully carries out suicide, roommate/friend/self is victim of violence

When students experience some or many of the above stressors, talking with a counselor either at the university center (if they have one) and/or a community practitioner may be a beneficial option. Individual and/or group counseling provides the chance to talk about these issues with an objective, trained professional who can teach new skills and ways of looking at situations in order to become more capable of solving new problems in the future. Therapy can help one overcome obstacles and help reach goals.

Going to counseling does not mean you’re crazy. In fact, most students who seek services are not “crazy.” The college years are a time of rapid developmental changes, transitions, and adjustments. It is to be expected that there are people who are facing life difficulties and are in need of some extra support and a different perspective. Making the decision to go to counseling isn’t always easy, but people who are willing to work in partnership with their counselor often find relief from their emotional problems and begin to lead more fulfilling and satisfying lives.

Written by: Dr. Tara J. Palmatier

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