TV rots the senses in the head!
It kills the imagination dead!
It clogs and clutters up the mind!
It makes a child so dull and blind.
He can no longer understand a fantasy,
A fairyland!
His brain becomes as soft as cheese!
His powers of thinking rust and freeze!
An excerpt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,
By Roald Dahl, 1964

In last week’s blog entry, titled Education Starts and Ends at Home, I posed a list of ten thought-provoking questions for parents, which relate directly to how their children are educated or influenced at home. We addressed question 1, about health and fitness, an issue which we all know plagues American kids and families. Today, we will deal with a directly correlated issue – that of watching television – because naturally, in the course of any given day, with limited time at hand, the more kids watch TV, the lower the chances of them being physically active and healthy. Here is the question which was posed, that I address in this post:

2. How many hours per week do your children watch TV?

One billion television sets have been sold worldwide since the first ones appeared in the 1920s. Aside from the obvious corrupting forces that children can be exposed to – drug use; emotional, psychological and physical abuse – television is the most destructive force on a child’s mind. The same could be said for people of all ages, but this statement holds true especially for children, who are very delicate and impressionable. This is a strong statement but one that is correct. Of course, television has many potential benefits, including:
Educational purposes – learning about the world, science and current events; moral lessons portrayed through quality programming.
Entertainment – making us laugh, cry and experience other emotions, while identifying with characters from our favorite shows.

Of course, there are two important caveats to the general statement that “TV is bad” -
1. It depends what you watch. Watching quality programming and watching attentively makes a difference. The explosion of choice in television programming over the recent two decades is a double-edged sword; at least, kids can be exposed to quality educational content through the available choices.
2. It depends how much you watch. If watching is limited, non-addictive and prioritized after the achievement of other important activities, negative impacts are neutralized. What the proper limits of television watching for your children is depends. I would put the range at 5-15 hours per week, with variance depending upon other responsibilities and competing activities in a given week.

However, the list of ills that result from television viewing is much longer than the potential benefits, including but not limited to:
* Passive Activity – Watching television can hardly be considered an activity since most TV programming requires zero effort, of concentration, interaction or of any kind. This breeds laziness and mind-wandering
* TV as Babysitter – Depriving children of human interaction.
* Impact on Cognitive Development – According to John Tirman, Executive Director of MIT’s Center for International Studies, “Heavy TV watching leads viewers (even among high educational/high income groups) to have more homogeneous or convergent opinions than light viewers, who tend to have more heterogeneous or divergent opinions.” For more interesting research, cited by Tirman, check out his website.
* Hypnotic Impact – Captivates children, fantasies and illusions, disconnecting them from reality.
Consumerism – Programs children into good little consumers, building voracious appetites for toys, games, junk food and other possessions.
Media Sensationalism and Negativity – Breeds fear and unrealistic view of the world, making kids and parents believe that the world and people are more dangerous than they really are.
Radiation – In 1968, the Radiation Control Act passed, setting limits on radiation emitted from televisions to 0.5 milliroentgen of radiation per hour – a level considered safe at the time the standards were drafted. However, recent findings by scientists in the Department of Health, Education and Welfare (HEW) indicate that X-ray emissions below the 0.5 level and on down to zero penetrate body tissues with subtle but harmful effect. For more information on this controversial topic, read this article from Operation Awakening blog.

System for Monitoring TV & Video Games

There is really no magic behind creating a system for monitoring television watching. It’s really pretty simple. You have to ask yourself whether you agree or not with what is being said here and elsewhere about the negative impacts of TV on your kids. If you agree, and don’t feel like you have a good system in place, then it makes sense either to consider what is prescribed herein or investigate other alternatives. What I propose is to set hourly budgets or limits on particular free-time activities, including watching TV and playing video games, whether at home or elsewhere. For example, here is a sample Time Budget chart for the week.

TV: 8 Hours
Internet & Video Games: 8 Hours

Create a chart that gets posted by the TV and Computer, where your kids log their time. If they don’t do so, you can log it yourself as you discuss their day with them. If they go over-budget one week, you can use your discretion to reduce hours from the following week’s budget. If they go under budget, then you can possibly let them carry over time from week to week.

Behavioral issues are inevitable, especially in this day and age. If there have not been rules set forth in the past around these topics, your kids will naturally be resistant to rules. That is OK. If you are serious about it and enforce the rules well, your kids will benefit in spite of their resistance. The best way to approach it, in my view, is to lay down the guidelines and then give them flexibility in how they utilize their ‘free time’. You should be prepared to negotiate with your kids to a degree, but be firm on the limits, even if they do not like the rules and throw a tantrum.

Of course, the hardest part of limiting television watching is that it requires parents to spend more time with their children or at least more time monitoring their activities. You may feel that you don’t have the time, due to your own busy schedule and desire to have your own free time, which of course, you are entitled to. Evidence suggests that if you make the time to put a well-defined system in place, once children start to understand the rules and develop good habits, not as much effort is required over time to maintain the system. It does require a high-level of dedication though from parents, there is no denying that. The benefits will be undeniable. I would love to hear from you parents out there, on how many hours per week on average your children watch.

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I am concerned about parenting in America. While I am not a parent yet, and do not therefore write from direct parental experience, I can see from those around me what the challenges are. I have also coached, taught, mentored, babysat and taken care of enough children to get a sense for the tremendous challenge of parenting. As a result, I have the utmost respect for all of you parents out there, especially the ones who take the role on diligently, with the highest sense of responsibility. It is clearly not an easy role. I also reflect back to my own childhood from a different, young adult perspective now. The general challenges of living are escalating, with increasing financial pressure on nearly everyone, and society’s support structures seem non-existent to most. Even if you are handling your family life well and staying on top of your affairs, you can just feel it getting worse overall in our society, can’t you? Who is to blame? More importantly, what is within your grasp as a parent when it comes to your children’s education?

In the previous post – Fixing and Funding Education in the U.S. – I discussed five key non-formal education categories, that are supplemented by the formal educational system (schools). To rehash those briefly -

1. education at home – from parents and family;
2. education from media – which reflects influences from TV, Internet, video games, newspapers, advertising, politicians and businesses;
3. extracurricular education – from coaches and non-formal teachers, such as a piano teacher, religion teacher or camp counselor;
4. education from social influences – friends, activities with friends, and members of one’s surrounding community; and last but not least,
5. self-education – interests which one chooses to pursue as a result of their own inclinations and/or influences from any of the categories above.

Today, I want to focus on #1 from this list – Education at Home, which begins with parenting and also includes influences from siblings. Education at home drives and shapes all of the subsequent non-formal education areas, such as education from media and extracurricular activities. So let’s start with a list of thought-provoking questions, that are directly correlated to how kids develop their minds, bodies and life skills. The questions are mostly related to how you and your children spend time and energy in a typical week. If your kids are still too young for some of the items, this can be a great opportunity for you to contemplate what your approach might be to these issues.

1. What is your kids’ level of physical health and fitness?
2. How many hours per week do your children watch TV?
3. How many hours per week are the kids playing video games or chatting/playing on the computer?
4. How much time each week, on average does the whole family spend together?
- Just the family unit, without friends?
- Just the family unit, talking or interacting, without the TV on, video games or other technology involved?
5. How much one-on-one time does each child typically spend with one or both parents each week?
6. How much time do your children spend reading (or have a parent or sibling read to and with them) each week?
7. How much time do your children spend studying each week? Do you check or help them with homework?
8. How often do your children meditate, pray or have any kind of moral, spiritual or religious rituals?
9. What kinds of chores and responsibilities do your kids have in the home?
10. Money & Allowance: What is your philosophy towards money when it comes to your kids?
- Do they receive a set allowance?
- If so, how much do they get?
- From what age did allowance start and how has the amount changed over the years?
- Are there any rules or restrictions on the allowance?
- Do you encourage your kids that are of age to work?

1. What is your kids’ level of health and fitness?
This is not a Yes/No question. Think objectively, which I know may be difficult for parents, about the level of where your kids stand in terms of physical health. If they participate in anything less than five different occasions of physical activity of at least 30-minutes per session, fitness is likely below par. And playing Nintendo Wii doesn’t count! Obesity, a rampant problem as we all know, is another key indicator of your children’s health in an area directly related to parenting. Hopefully, they are getting at least two home-cooked meals per day, with the possibility of a third, if lunch is prepared at home and brought to school. Snacking and eating between meals is fine, as long as it is monitored to some degree. What your kids eat, as well as how much, makes all the difference. Remember, generally speaking, they eat what is in the household. So if your kids eat a lot of junk food, then the question is who bought it, and why do they have free reign on the cookie jar? Shopping consciously and wisely, and bringing home fresh, healthy food, is one of the most important responsibilities for that parents have. Don’t short change it!

The key message that you need to take home from this item, which also holds true for most of the subsequent questions, is that kids will “do what you do, not what you say”. So don’t be a liability in your children’s education process! If you are drinking, smoking, over-eating, or not exercising regularly, there is a very high likelihood that they will end up doing the same exact thing, either now or when they get older. Even if you expose them to other good influences, such as great sports coaches and a positive school environment, children always revert back to what they see at home as their primary source of education.

One of the keys, in my humble opinion, after setting a good example through your own behavior, is to have reasonable rules in place, and to monitor your children well. I would advise not to monitor too rigidly, but do so routinely, especially during the pre-teen years. Make sure that your children are exposed to these rules, verbally as well as in written form. Consistency is important, as opposed to the typical scenario, where parents take advantage of their authority by judging things arbitrarily based on their own moods, current energy levels and personal interests. You have to be fair. Of course, parents reserve the right to “amend” the family rules, but it still makes sense to have somethings clearly articulated, which children can learn about and abide by. As it relates to health and fitness, several key rules of thumb should help keep everyone in the family, including parents, on track.
1. 5+ sessions of physical activity per week, which could be soccer practice, playing in the backyard, riding a bike, or wrestling with dad.
2. At least 2 servings of fruit and 2 servings of vegetables per day.
3. At least 10 home-cooked meals per week (which allows for eating out and ordering in several times per week).
4. Limitations on candy and snacking (to be determined by parents, and individual cases).
5. Portion control and management (to be determined by parents on a case by case basis; although some level of consistency is important). Learning and teaching how not to eat until one is full is critical. Over-indulgence leads to obesity, if not as a child, then as an adult.

That is a lot to digest (no pun intended), I know! I hope that you are not reeling too much, or running to the cookie jar, from all of these questions. While I won’t go into depth on the rest of them today, I promise that we will get to each point, as well as many others, over the coming months. I encourage you to stay with me, share your experiences by commenting to the posts or better yet, by participating in the 401kid Forums.

Remember, without a high-level of physical health and the positive energy that result from it, everything else in life becomes less important and potentially more problematic, including all of the other aspects of education that we discuss. The path which your children take when it comes to health and physical activity will follow very closely behind what you set forth as an example, in terms of your own life and habits, and a framework of household rules. So live well and so will your kids!

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Yesterday, I asked my husband when we were going to start saving for our kids’ college tuition. “Not right now, honey. Later.” We have two toddlers, so you could argue that we have time on our side. I’d like to make the case, to the contrary. Life’s big issues, relegated to the land of later, have a way of sneaking up on us.

Maybe you’ve been meaning to get up to speed on the 529 College Savings Plans, but you simply haven’t found the time to take the next step. I feel your pain. We’re busy with work, family, and of course, that quaint old fixer-upper that charmed us right out of our senses, not to mention our free time when we bought it. Long story short, I have my HVAC guys on speed-dial. Bottom line? There always seems to be some pressing issue that has to be handled–now.

So, what about the things you need to take care of for your future? Often, they just fall off the radar screen. You tell yourself they can wait, right? You’ll get to it later. Wrong. Most tasks that people put off simply never get done, which is a shame. Because once college time rolls around for your son or daughter, paying tuition will have become one of those urgent matters that demand your attention–now.

Planning for the future is preventative maintenance. Procrastination, more than any other factor, is the culprit that leaves many parents holding the bag when it’s time to put children through college. Don’t let it happen to you.

So, what are you waiting for? Get going today! Put saving for college on your to-do list, along with dinner, soccer practice, and feeding the fish. Only today, put it at the top of your agenda. Check out 401kid.com and educate yourself about the 529 College Savings Plans. It will help you prepare for your child’s educational future. Will you feel glad you did? You bet your bottom dollar!

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